Happy Birthday, Remus!
by GOLD fish 945
Summary: Remus is turning 19, and Sirius has no idea what the hell to get him! Fluffy, rated T for language. Oneshot RLSB !slash!


_Happy Birthday Remus_

_**March 7, 1979**_

Remus's nineteenth birthday was coming up in three days, and Sirius still had no fucking idea what to get him. They lived together, they shagged every couple days (or hours, depending on the day), they snogged on a regular basis, they were best friends, and Sirius still had no clue what Remus would want for his birthday this year. Wormtail was getting him chocolate, which meant that Sirius's number one fallback was taken. James was getting him a book, stealing Sirius's number two fallback. What was left? Socks? Fuck no.

Lily laughed at Sirius when he voiced these horrifying terrors.

"What the fuck am I supposed to get him?" Sirius wailed. "I mean Christ, we've been together since we were sixteen! What more does he need from me?"

"Sirius," said Lily, between giggles, "it's his birthday. Just get him something. Could be anything, really. He'd probably like it if you got him fruit or something stupid like that."

"Maybe I could just moon him and say 'Happy birthday, Moony!'" Sirius said, speculating.

"You are not mooning Remus for his birthday," said Lily firmly. "You're getting him something, and it's going to be great."

"But no fucking pressure," Sirius said, annoyed. Lily smiled angelically. Their conversation was then cut short by James and Remus walking in the door. Sirius plastered a huge grin onto his face, and Remus and James stopped short.

"What?" James asked nervously. "I swear, Sirius, if something explodes, I'm going to kill you." Remus chuckled, checked underneath his chair, and sat down next to Sirius.

"Seems safe, Jimmy," he said. James glared.

Sirius was at a loss. What did Remus want? He couldn't very well just _ask_ or anything. That would be disgustingly un-subtle, and not at all romantic. He wasn't trying to sweep Remus off his feet or anything, but he wanted Remus to be impressed. What could he get him?

The four of them sat at dinner, and Sirius barely said a word, lost in thought. It was getting truly annoying. He had no idea what in the world Remus wanted. Did Remus even want anything? What was Lily getting Remus? Maybe a puppy…

_**March 8, 1979**_

"ARGH!"

Remus was at work, and Sirius was searching their flat for a sign. There had to be something that indicated what Remus would like. There was a half-eaten chocolate bar on Remus's bedside table, and a book. Sirius glared at the title. It was a Dickens book. Sirius hated Dickens.

Maybe Remus needed new slippers? No, Lily had gotten him a new pair for Christmas. New robes? James, for Christmas. Sunglasses? Fuck, Lily had gotten Remus sunglasses for _Sirius's _birthday! What the fuck was wrong with the world?

_I should just get him a fucking whip and tell him to beat some sense into me,_ Sirius thought angrily. He smiled then, imagining the fun that could result from a whip. He grinned. He doubted Remus would be particularly into whips though. That, and he wouldn't want to open it in front of everyone at his party. (He was fighting against the party anyway, so Remus would probably throttle Sirius then and there if he tried shit like that.)

Sirius sighed. What in the fucking world would make Remus happy? He sat down on Remus's trunk, his elbow on his knee, his fist on his cheek. This sucked. Why did it have to be so hard? There was no way that Remus had this much trouble buying presents for him. Maybe he could just give Remus a really, really damn good blow job? Nah, that was too generic. He did that all the time anyway, so there wouldn't be anything special about it. Plus, Remus was going to get one anyway. He chuckled.

He stiffened then. He needed to stop being so silly in his head. He needed to concentrate. Remus! He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What did Remus like?

Chocolate. Books. Sirius.

Damn it.

_**March 9, 1979**_

"What are you getting him?" Sirius asked Lily desperately. She grinned.

"Why should I tell you?"

"So I don't get him the same thing," Sirius pleaded. He knew it would not win, but God he needed an idea!

"Well, since you have no idea about anything, I really doubt you'll get him the same thing," said Lily. "I think I'll keep it to myself."

"Don't even bother, Padfoot," said James. "She wouldn't tell me either." Sirius cried out in frustration.

"Why is this so hard?" he asked her miserably.

"Because apparently this year it really matters," she said, smiling. He glared at her.

"It's mattered every year, thank you," he said. "Remus is an easy person to buy for, as long as no one's bought a book or chocolate yet! And wonderfully, Prongs and Wormtail _have_!"

"I didn't get him a book _or_ chocolate," said Lily smugly. He glared at her.

"You are not helping in the slightest," he said. She smiled again.

"You'll figure it out," she said.

"His party is tomorrow! His birthday is tomorrow!" Sirius howled. "How the hell am I supposed to figure it all out in ten hours?"

"Magic," said Lily innocently.

"James," said Sirius, thoroughly angry, "I'm going to kill your wife."

After a small scuffle, some laughter, and some food, Sirius left the flat that James and Lily shared. He decided to window shop – always a good idea when in doubt, Lily had said. He was desperate enough to listen to her, even if she was being a royal smart-arse. He scowled.

There was nothing. He looked through everything – special chocolatiers, bookshops, Wizard and Muggle clothing stores. He contemplated getting Remus a pair of tight leather trousers, but he decided that Remus wouldn't quite appreciate them. He bought them for himself instead. He grinned at his appearance in the mirror. He was definitely wearing these to Remus's party.

If he even went! He couldn't find anything!

He glanced into the shops he passed. Hardware stores, appliance stores, athletic gear, camping equipment.

_I could get him some Muggle appliance. Like a blender,_ he thought sullenly. How in the world was he going to figure this out? The last shop he passed was a furniture store.

He finally Apparated home, giving up. Remus would be disappointed, and Sirius would be yelled at by Lily and James, and damn it, he'd deserve it.

He sat on the bed he and Remus shared, dejected. This sucked even worse than yesterday. He stood up, running a hand through his hair. He headed into the bathroom, intending to shower and think, and he tripped. One of Remus's thousand and one books was on the floor. He looked around, noticing that they were stacked everywhere. On Remus's bedside, on the floor, on his trunk, hell, even on _Sirius's _bedside and trunk! He sighed.

_Bitch needs a fucking…_

Then Sirius's eyes widened. His face split into a huge smile. Nothing else would do. He had finally found the perfect gift for Remus! He glanced at the bed, the end tables, the dresser, and then he Apparated away.

_Perfect._

_**March 10, 1979**_

Remus's birthday had come. Sirius was grinning. Lily was looking at him curiously. James smiled; just happy he'd managed to find something.

"Your gift isn't anywhere near as good as mine," Sirius said to Lily, gloating.

"You don't even know what mine is," Lily said, annoyed.

"You don't know what mine is!" Sirius said gleefully. "Mine's better!" Lily sighed, walking away. He heard James talking to her a moment later, saying something along the lines of, 'if you just let him win, he'll shut up.' Sirius huffed. He knew he was right. There was no way anyone's gift would beat his for Remus.

They had gathered at Remus and Sirius's flat. Remus was due in at five o'clock and it was about four forty. People were arriving in droves, and Sirius just left the door open. People came in, disposed of their gifts at the "gift table," got a drink, and began talking. People from Sirius's work, James's work, Hogwarts, Remus's work, the Order, and some of Lily's friends were all attending. Peter's "work friends" hadn't managed to make it, but no one really knew them very well anyway.

"Hey," said a voice. It was Frank Longbottom. Sirius looked over. "I'm the last person! You said thirty two were coming? Well, dude, I'm thirty three!" Sirius ran over and shut the door.

"Okay, Remus will be here in a few. It's not like this is a surprise birthday party, he knows we're going to be here, so we're all gonna hide and make him think we're not here! Or he's super early or something…" Lily rolled her eyes. "Either way, we're going to jump out and scream 'Happy Birthday, Remus!' You all know the drill. Now hide!" Everyone scrambled for hiding places. Sirius locked the door to the room he and Remus shared. No one could see The Present before Remus. He grinned. He enchanted the gifts, the decorations, everything. They would be invisible to Remus's eyes.

"What are you doing, Black?" asked Alice Longbottom.

"Enchanting these," he said. "Remus won't be able to see them. Y'know. Nothing like a good joke!" Alice rolled her eyes. Sirius picked up the newspaper. "They activate to Remus's voice, so it's all good." He sat down at their table, his feet on the table, opening his newspaper. He didn't read, he just listened for Remus's approach.

Remus could not just Apparate into the flat. They lived in a very Muggle neighborhood, so he made sure to take the Muggle way home mostly every day. He tensed as he heard feet on the stairs. The breathing in the room halted. Everyone was holding their breath, Sirius included. There was a shuffling sound, a click, and the door swung open. Remus was standing in the doorway with a surprised expression. He walked over to Sirius.

"I thought there'd be a party in full swing by the time I got home." Remus didn't notice, but the decorations flickered, and Sirius knew that his spell had ended. "By the way, get your feet off the table. We eat there." He turned, and saw the massive pile of gifts.

"NOW!" Sirius yelled, and thirty-odd people jumped out from all sorts of strange hiding places, screaming.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS!"

Remus was frozen in place, his mouth hanging wide open.

"How – But… What the?" he choked. "I didn't see anything when I came in!" Sirius grinned.

"Oh, my dear Moony, the _power_ of magic!" He waved his wand in front of Remus's face. Remus rolled his eyes. He looked around, and a smile broke out across his face.

"Wow," he said. "Thanks so much!" He grinned and hugged Sirius, who was closest. He rushed over to hug Lily and James, Peter, the Longbottoms, and the many other people who were there. He was smiling, and that made Sirius smile as well.

After a good hour or two of pleasantries and conversation, Sirius could wait no longer.

"Remus!" he shouted. "Presents!" Remus blushed, but James then shoved him towards the huge pile of wrapped items. Sirius grinned. His would be last, and the best.

Remus opened everything. He took forever with it, too. He thanked everyone, checked each card beforehand so he knew who everything was from and who to thank. He was careful about ripping paper, until Lily shouted at him to get a move on and just rip the goddamn paper already. The pregnancy was really starting to make her crazy.

Remus thanked James with a huge smile on his face.

"I've wanted to read this for ages!"

He thanked Peter, grinning like a madman.

"I almost ran out, Pete, you really couldn't have had better timing!"

Then he opened Lily's, and everyone's jaw dropped. It was a briefcase, with the inscription '_Professor R. J. Lupin_' on it. Remus looked up at her, mouth open.

"You're going to make it, Remus," she said. "I don't care what you say. You're going to make it." He got up from his bright blue Birthday Boy chair (the present from Fabian Prewett) and wrapped his arms around her. Sirius heard him say 'Thank you' tightly. Sirius smiled. Maybe his gift _did_ have competition. Lily shoved him back into his Birthday Boy chair, but then everyone noticed that there were no gifts left. Remus looked up at Sirius, surprised.

"You may have noticed," Sirius said loudly, as an awkward silence began to take hold, "that I have not given Remus a gift." Lily and James's mouth opened in horror. "That's just because it's not in the room." He held out a hand to Remus. Remus took it and got up. Sirius put a hand over his eyes. "Trust me," he whispered in his ear. He guided Remus towards their bedroom. He concentrated for a moment, trying to dispel his locking spell without his wand. He heard a click, and the door swung open. He steered Remus into the room. The small crowd of people followed, curious. Sirius grinned as he heard Lily's gasp of pleasure.

He wrenched his hand away from Remus's eyes, and Remus opened his eyes. His eyes took in the sight. His jaw dropped, but there was a smile in the surprise, and Sirius grinned.

"Oh my God, Sirius!" he said.

There was a huge bookcase against their wall. It matched the wood in their room perfectly. It was tall, and wide, but it didn't dominate the room. And on the shelves were Remus's books in perfect order, alphabetized by author's name. There was a large, silly bow on the side, and Sirius pulled Remus towards the bookcase. He lifted Remus's hand and ran it along the side. Remus frowned.

"What's that?" he asked himself. He leaned over, and the sun hit the words chiseled into the wood perfectly.

_For Remus, on your 19__th__ birthday. Love, forever, Sirius._

Simple, but truthful.

Sirius leaned over Remus and whispered, "I love you," in his ear. Remus turned to him in surprise. Sirius grinned. Remus's face broke into a huge smile. He threw his arms around Sirius's neck and held him tightly. Sirius grinned. He had definitely won the gift fight.

"Hey, look, he even left room for where the book I got him would go!" said James. "Bastard knows everything!"

"I love you, too," Remus said into Sirius's hair. Sirius tightened his grip on the werewolf.


End file.
